C-Section Birth Stories: Taylor Leonard

1. Briefly, please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

I felt lucky to have the "perfect" pregnancy. I truly enjoyed everything about it and didn't want it to end. My baby girl was apparently quite comfortable too. At 11 days overdue, there were still zero signs of labor. With that, an induction was encouraged. I agreed even though I didn't feel ready. I cried on the way to the hospital because while I was excited to meet my girl, I was sad that the magical experience of her in my belly was coming to an end. I was given Cytotec to soften my cervix at 4 p.m. and at midnight my water burst intensely and contractions started. I labored in a warm tub until 6 a.m. and was then given Pitocin and an epidural. I continued to progress well and reached 9 centimeters, then stalled. At that point, my cervix swelled because my baby was coming down sideways. She got stuck, had her cord around her neck, and her heart rate dropped. By 4 p.m., 24 hours into the labor, a c-section was suggested. My "birth plan" all along was, "no plan, just get a healthy baby out!" So I had no hesitation. In fact, I felt instant relief when the midwives and OB suggested a cesarean. Finally, a light at the end of the long and exhausting tunnel.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

The entire roller coaster ride of an experience surprised me. I am a yoga teacher and I stayed very active and practiced up until my due date. Daily, I would have people say to me "Wow, I bet that baby is going to fall out of you!" So, the c-section, in general, was something no one really imagined for me.

The biggest shock of all, though, was my otherworldly experience on the operating table. The local anesthesia went up quite high which led to a numbness all the way up to my chest. This sensation made me feel as if I was suffocating. I couldn’t feel my lungs working and in my mind, I was dying on that table. I kept asking my midwife if I was going to survive. She said yes, but I thought she was lying to me. When my husband walked into the OR, I felt myself fading out. I refused to close my eyes because I thought I'd never wake up. I held my husband’s hand tight, stared deep into his eyes, and begged him to take good care of our baby girl. I was hyperventilating and saying my goodbyes to him as I was being cut open. I continued to fade out until I suddenly had a clear vision of my deceased grandparents standing in the OR with me next to the curtain draped over my body. I was wearing my grandparents’ jewelry throughout the entire delivery and then there they were. I could see them smiling and hear them cheering, "Your baby girl is here, she is here! She is so beautiful!" They were light and it was like they were guiding my baby to me. As I felt my grandfather’s hands press on my chest to help me feel my breath again, I heard my daughter cry for the first time.

Never in a billion years could I have imagined that would be how I welcomed my child into the world. Feeling like I was fighting and punching to stay alive. Saying goodbye to my husband. Seeing, hearing and feeling my grandparents’ presence. Was it a hallucination from the cocktail of drugs and utter exhaustion? Or a Godly sign that my grandparents are watching over us? My daughter’s ancestry guiding her in?

I don't know, I'm still processing. It was a wild and unexpected experience that will certainly make for an interesting story to share with my daughter someday.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

My husband, parents, and two older sisters were and are always my greatest support. Once the anesthesia wore off, I sobbed to them all in the recovery room as I shared our experience. They listened, cried, and laughed with me all while cradling and loving on my new baby. They fed me and celebrated with me in the weeks to come. When the moments of transition to motherhood felt too big, I kept finding comfort in the knowledge that my sisters had also gone through it all not too long ago.

My husband and I instantly grew closer from the experience. He didn't leave my side for a second when I needed him most. He is amazing and I know how lucky my daughter and I are to have him.

From a medical standpoint, it was a very routine surgery and my vitals were perfect. Despite that, my midwives recognized the intensity of it all due to my state of mind. They came to our room the very next morning to check on our recovery, both physical and emotional. They explained birth trauma to my husband and me. We had never heard of it before. Our midwife suggested we write down all of the beautiful moments from the delivery that we should focus on - because there were many. That really helped.

We also felt so incredibly cared for by the amazing postpartum nurses and doctors. We didn't want to leave the hospital because we loved them so much!

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

Take as much time as you need and more to rest, recover, and process. Accept help from others! As my midwife suggested, journal! Write down your feelings and emotions without shame. There are always beautiful moments, try to focus on those. Get a baby book and write out your birth story for processing and so someday your child can read it. Take photos if possible. My mom is a professional photographer and I was lucky that she was able to photograph the surgery from a side room. Everything felt chaotic in my mind, so seeing how peaceful it actually was, in reality, was major for my healing process. Lastly, the female body is simply amazing. I am astonished at how simple my recovery was and how quickly my strength returned.

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

I have a new appreciation for the beauty of getting to live this life after feeling like I was going to lose it. The c-section strengthened my marriage and made me love my husband even more. I am proud of myself for sticking to my plan of "no plan". All I wanted was a healthy baby and because I was willing to trust and go with the flow, I got her. I have the biggest love for this little girl and with great love comes great fear. But as each passing day of motherhood gets easier and easier, I feel stronger and stronger.

Name: Taylor Leonard

Your Profession: Yoga Teacher

How to Connect With You on Social Media: @tmleonard538 on Instagram