C-Section Birth Stories: Amanda Dodson

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

I am still processing my birth story and postpartum experience.

At 36 weeks, my doctor told me I would be induced the following week due to my blood pressure (I started getting some elevated readings around week 20 of pregnancy).

So, my husband and I began preparing and packing the final items of our hospital bag. Two days later though, I noticed some elevated blood pressure readings and a few bright spots in my vision. I headed to the Labor and Delivery unit and, although most tests came back normal, my liver panel was elevated. The doctor decided to make a soft call and admit me for induction earlier than expected.

This was around the time of the first official lockdown for COVID, so restrictions were in place and only my husband was allowed to be in the hospital with me. For the next 2 days, I was given a few medicines to attempt induction, but my cervix was not dilating. The OB came in and we were preparing for him to let us know the next steps after an exhausting few days. Surprisingly, he let us know we could go home. A second check for my liver panel came back fine and the first result seemed to be a false reading. We were grateful we could wait until 37 weeks to allow baby more growth - but we were very tired. Nerves also set in when the doctor told us that COVID restrictions would possibly be a little tighter by the time we returned in a few days for the second induction. It was possible my husband could not attend my c-section if I had one (luckily, this was not the case).

Soon, we began the process all over again for an induction - Cytotec, Cervidil, foley bulb, oh my!

The difference with the second induction was my son’s heart rate. It began dropping anytime I rotated off of my right side. So, I was laying on my right side for 2 days straight through increasing contractions. After all of the attempted induction efforts, my cervix was still only 1.5 cm dilated and my son’s heart rate was dropping lower. Several nurses had tried to rotate me to different positions and apply the oxygen mask in hopes of raising his heart rate but eventually, the OB let me know it was best at that point to perform an emergency c-section.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

During my surgery, the medicine for my incision itself was fine and I only felt tugging - but I began feeling sharp pain as if my skin was tearing near my upper left ribs. Apparently my body metabolizes medicine very quickly and it was wearing off. The doctors let me know it was likely referred pain from below. Looking back now, this was one catapult to my postpartum anxiety & postpartum PTSD.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

The support I received (from my husband, parents, in-laws, family, friends, and counselors) was SO crucial to my recovery, both mentally and physically.

I was discharged two days after my c-section and was feeling a high from being able to return home, see close family, and finally get rest. But the following day my blood pressure spiked very high and there was a concern for postpartum preeclampsia. I went to the emergency room (ER) but could not have anyone with me due to the restrictions for COVID. I was still in tremendous pain from the surgery and had to hobble around the ER while trying not to panic about bringing the virus back to my son. After 9 hours of waiting, I was placed on blood pressure medication. Before being discharged, a nurse came up to me and suggested I avoid being around my son once I got home that evening (and of course bag my clothes and take a shower as soon as possible). This was so difficult because I could not get the bonding time with him that I wanted and my milk came in for the first time while I was waiting to be seen in the ER. I used a hospital pump to avoid clogged ducts. but did not get the chance to breastfeed with my son. My anxiety was definitely building at this point.

I ended up going to the ER two more times for rapid heart rate and vomiting. All further tests came back normal, but my BP had risen again and my medicine was adjusted. I was still attempting to breastfeed (which was painful even after a few lactation consultant visits), I was getting about 2-3 hours of sleep a day, and I was very depressed and anxious. I could not keep food down so I weighed less than my pre-pregnancy weight.

The following weeks were panic-stricken. I had multiple panic attacks, nightmares, and flashbacks. Caring for my son felt impossible as he was a reminder of it all….The ER, painful surgery, preeclampsia, the virus, and so on. I realized I was suffering from postpartum anxiety, PTSD, and depression.

With my blood pressure under control, I knew I needed to take action toward my mental health so I could heal.

I stopped breastfeeding. I increased my low dose of anti-anxiety medication a bit higher. I began seeing several counselors. I moved in with my parents for about 1.5 months. Eventually, the vomiting stopped, the panic lessened, and I was able to slowly start caring for my son.

I would like to say that it all faded away. That none of the negative aspects of my experience mattered once I held my son. But, it simply isn’t true. I have immense love for my son - and honestly, even that took time to grow. He was beyond adorable, but I did not feel much of a connection for some time.

However, I felt so very grateful to receive support and I am glad I spoke up about how I was feeling so that I could get the help I desperately needed.

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?: 

Your physical and mental recovery may be different than you imagined and that is okay. Allow yourself the rest, recovery, and support needed for you to thrive (and, most importantly, how this looks for you may be different than how it looks for another mama and that's okay, too!)

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

There is so much I couldn't control about my birth experience. But one thing I have learned in my recovery is that I can go a step further than simply accepting what happened to me and I can make meaning out of it. Sharing my story, bonding with other mamas, seeing my strength in a new way, gaining better control of anxiety, etc., were all ways I have made meaning out of what occurred. Just remember to give yourself grace and know that there is always support waiting for you ❤️.

Name: Amanda Dodson

How to Connect With You on Social Media: @dodson.amanda on Instagram