C-Section Birth Stories: Annamarie Russow

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

First baby - My water broke the day before my due date and we headed into the hospital where they started an induction. Pitocin did its thing and I dilated quickly! Once I was fully dilated, I started pushing but he wouldn't come down so we took a break after an hour and a half and I rested with the peanut ball between my legs. Started up again and pushed for another hour before my OB said that his heart rate wasn't tolerating things well. All of a sudden, it plummeted and wasn't coming back up so they called for a crash c-section. I remember the lights coming on and about 10 people rushing into the room. They were giving me oral medications and prepping my body quickly while I cried hysterically. They were telling my husband to pack up all of our stuff because we wouldn't be coming back to this room after the surgery. He said he felt like a bag lady wandering the halls after they took me because no one told him where to go or what to do before he was able to come in with me.

Second baby - I was trying for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I was SO excited and did all the things to prepare myself: RRLT (raspberry red leaf tea), dates, spinning babies, lots of walking, Webster chiropractor, SO much research. I found a VBAC supportive OB who had had 3 VBACs herself. At my 37 week appointment, I was already 4 centimeters dilated. I had scheduled a 39-week induction with my OB but was thrilled that I might not have to be induced since I was already progressing. A few days later, I went into labor on my own and was PUMPED! I got to the hospital and was 5-6 centimeters already; they admitted me and we settled in waiting for my body to do its thing. Labor stalled overnight and contractions pretty much stopped. At 7 am the nurse checked me and confirmed I hadn't progressed at all but the baby was in a good position (head down at least). They decided to add a bit of Pitocin so we did that and I got the epidural. A few hours later I was completely dilated! My water still hadn't broken though, so the OB came in to do that; while she was checking me she was having a hard time feeling my baby’s head. She requested an ultrasound machine and confirmed that he had flipped breech sometime in the last 4 hours. I was devastated.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

How much I would hate it. I hear of people having c-sections all the time. Do they all hate it as much as I do? I can't wrap my head around anyone enjoying that experience. I know that if it's planned it can be very calm; both of mine were unplanned though the second one was much calmer. I didn't hate it any less.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

My family and friends are wonderful and knew that especially the first c-section, was very physically traumatizing. He also went to the NICU immediately which was really, really tough. They rallied around me and would ask how I was doing pretty often. The second c-section was harder emotionally since I had wanted a VBAC so badly. I know that my husband told my friends how upset I was and to check in on me about that since I'm not prone to sharing without someone asking. Overall, I’ve had a hard time since no one close to me has had a c-section so they don't really understand. I found myself looking online for support groups, etc, which has helped me feel less alone.

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

Whichever way you're feeling is the correct way to feel for YOU. Give yourself some grace and some time to process what you went through. I felt a lot of guilt for not bonding right away with my first baby. I didn't feel him come out of me, I didn't see him come out of me, and then he was immediately taken to the NICU, so I was in a recovery room with no baby. It was BIZARRE.

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

To be honest, I don't feel stronger. I know that any mom would do what I did, mostly because I wasn't given any choice in the matter. You listen to the doctors and you let them cut you open because they're doing what's best for you and the baby. I feel unlucky, not strong.

Name: Annamarie Russow

Country of Residence: USA

Instagram Username: @arussow42