C-Section Birth Stories: Anonymous Mama

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

With my first, I was overdue and induced for decelerations in her heart rate. I labored for 25 hours and pushed for 2.5 hours on a failed epidural until we realized she was in the occiput posterior position. She never tucked her chin and got stuck in my pelvic bone. My blood pressure went a little crazy and her heart was not able to handle it, so I went in for an emergency c-section. I was knocked out and don’t remember it but woke up 15 minutes after she was born. For many many months, I mourned what I thought I wanted her birth to be like until I realized it’s not about how she came into this world. It was about getting her here safely and healthy and I was really able to work to internalize that and it gave me a lot of peace.

Fast forward 2 years later and I was planning for a VBAC. Everything was great the whole pregnancy until I was 35 weeks and few days and I started to notice significantly fewer movements with my son. He would move sometimes but very slow, forced movements. I was in and out of the hospital all week and they had to force him to move. At times, his heart rate wasn’t great and after a week of this, the doctor and every nurse I came in contact with said to me “This baby will never handle labor. We don’t know why but he isn’t moving enough and we want to deliver him early to make sure he is ok because he’s better off out than in.” I could not be induced because of my previous c-section and frankly, I did not feel comfortable enough to do that.

So at 36 weeks and 5 days, my baby boy was born via c-section and was whisked away to the NICU because he needed respiratory support. It turns out the umbilical cord was around his neck and he had a short cord, so when he tried to move he would compress the cord. So he kind of stayed in place. Babies are smarter than we think! I was awake and aware the whole time during the cesarean and it was so calm and I felt very supported by all the nurses and doctors.

Postpartum was difficult. I didn’t meet him until the next morning. My 3-day hospital stay consisted of me going back and forth to the NICU. I was pumping every 2 hours and in between going to hold my baby. I think I slept less than 12 hours in a 4 day period. I am so grateful for modern medicine; after all, it saved both of my babies. I never expected this would be the way my babies entered the world but it’s taught me to go with the flow. We cannot plan things and the goal is always healthy baby and mom!

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

The judgemental look people give you when you tell them you’ve had a c-section. Like if you didn’t pick the wrong doctor, the baby would’ve been ok. I believe somewhere along the line we’ve started to forget the goal is a healthy baby and healthy mama - whichever way that needs to happen.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

I definitely received a ton of support from the doctors and nurses. Checking in on me and making sure I felt comfortable with every decision. My family was and has always been incredible. Most friends were great and then some were like “I knew you wouldn’t have a VBAC with that doctor”; very silly and unnecessary to say. I am still mourning the fact that I will never give birth vaginally; it’s a different experience but I am ok with it.

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

Give yourself time. You will feel better and stronger every week. You don’t have to love the scar but it is a reminder that you carried that baby and birthed that baby just as much as anyone else. Be proud of yourself. You took care of a newborn whilst recovering from major abdominal surgery.

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

I believe it taught me how to change my perspective on a tough situation. Give yourself time to process but then focus on the end goal - a beautiful, healthy baby! Many people would be thrilled to have a healthy baby no matter which way they were born. Being in the NICU, I saw people who had been there for months. Yes, it was hard having a c-section and then not physically being with my baby but he was healthy and he came home and all was good!

*This mama chose to remain anonymous