C-Section Birth Stories: Jemima Sargent

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

My husband and I opted for an elective c-section. It was our first pregnancy and we live in a remote corner of South Africa, 2 hours away from the nearest hospital. Whilst we knew that we could only control the circumstances of our daughter's birth up to a point, choosing to schedule a cesarian gave us an element of control so that we could at least vaguely plan around a date. I had this feeling that Scout would choose to arrive before the day came, and was mentally preparing for a scary journey along a dangerous road in the middle of the night. However, in the end, she was happy to play ball! We went into hospital at 5 a.m. on the day of my surgery, and a few hours later she was pulled squawking from my belly, a healthy 3.4 kilograms. I wouldn't say I exactly enjoyed the procedure itself, but it was incredibly quick, and as we were so fortunate to experience it under calm circumstances. There was no stress, no urgency, and no panic. We played our own fun music, we felt well taken care of, and I was very grateful that we had a pediatrician right there to check Scout over the second she was born.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

A few things took me by surprise during the actual procedure - I felt completely calm until the moment I had to sit on the operating table, to have the spinal block inserted. I suddenly felt very, very frightened - an operating room is not exactly a chill place to be and everything looks quite scary. Thankfully, I had my husband there to hold my hand and speak calm, soothing words to me the whole time. Once the epidural was in, my blood pressure dropped dramatically so I felt incredibly dizzy and very sick. The anesthetist was on hand to pump me with meds to counteract this, but I felt pretty dreadful until the moment Scout came out and the pressure was taken off my organs. All this was over quickly, and the second I heard her cry I forgot all about how awful I had felt! The biggest surprise of all was how quick my physical recovery was, in comparison to my emotional recovery after the birth. I did a lot of pilates building up to Scout's arrival which I think helped my strength - I was prepared to be bedridden for ages, but in fact, I was up and about with very minimal pain very quickly. The emotional turbulence was far more dramatic: it took a couple of weeks for the panicky feeling in my chest to lift, and while my scar only felt slightly tender, my jaw was clenched so tightly all the time that my whole face ached.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

My husband Callum was amazing, steadfast, and strong when I was not. I cried just looking at my daughter because I was so overwhelmed by how much I loved her, and he was consistently stoic, helpful, and calming. My parents stayed with us for 8 weeks after the birth, and I will never be able to fully express my gratitude to them. Whilst learning to be a mother myself, I was mothered more than I had been since I was a child, which was the ideal way to begin such a daunting journey. Although physically I felt pretty good, I was not OK emotionally for a little while, and their support was unbelievable. Both my parents and Callum had to constantly remind me that I had just had major surgery, as I was inclined to think I could easily lift/carry anything straightaway! We have wonderful friends who were super supportive - but because I looked like I had recovered on the outside, it was easy for them to think I was 'back to normal', when in fact I was still struggling on the inside. I realized quickly that I needed to stay in bed longer!

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

Accept help! Plan your support system for after the birth, even if you think you will be fine (and you probably will be!). I once heard advice from another new mother that I think is perfect: once you get home from the hospital, stay in bed for a week, and then stay on the sofa for another two. You don't get this time again, so let your body and soul recover and let others take care of you.

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

I have a very low pain threshold, so I was anxious about the recovery - but I discovered that having a baby makes you stronger in so many ways, mostly because you suddenly care far more about someone else than yourself. Having said that, I will always carry an immense pride about my c-section, because I was strong enough to make the decision to have one (when others may have judged me), and when the time came my body rose to the occasion and allowed me to birth my baby girl, the way I wanted.

Name: Jemima Sargent

Your Profession: Writer and artist

How to Connect With You on Social Media: @midnight_milkbar and @jemimasargentart on Instagram