C-Section Birth Stories: Julianne Penner

1. Briefly, please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

When I was nine years old, I fell off of a scooter which resulted in a fourth-degree tear. However, it never caused me any problems throughout my life. In December 2018, my husband and I found out that we were expecting our first baby. I discussed the previous fourth-degree tear with my midwives. They decided it was wise to get a second opinion, as it was something they had never encountered before. They spoke to a few different OB/GYNs. All of these medical professionals gave the same advice, that vaginal delivery is definitely an option. However, they were unsure of how high of a risk a second fourth-degree tear would be. Since I was so young when it happened, they didn’t know whether a vaginal or c-section delivery would be best. My midwives referred me to an OB so I could ask any further questions and have a physical exam done. Both the OB and the midwives were very neutral about my choice. They gave me clear pros and cons of a vaginal and c-section delivery. After the OB did a physical exam, she was still very neutral but I could sense that she was almost uncomfortable with “having” to be so neutral. So I asked her, “If I was your daughter, what would you tell me to do?” She looked at me for a moment, and gently responded, “I would tell you to have the c-section. The risks are just too high.” So I stood at a crossroads. I could try for a vaginal birth, possibly risking another tear resulting in a longer recovery and maybe even further problems or I could opt for the c-section, fully knowing the risks involved with that and also, “giving up” my birth plan.

That night, my husband and I discussed this and made our decision. We would book the c-section and if our minds changed or I went into labor before the date, I could try vaginally. As soon as my c-section was booked, a huge weight was instantly lifted off of my shoulders. A planned c-section became my new birth plan. I never looked back to my old birth plan and I never longed for my old birth plan. I never felt guilty about bringing my baby girl into the world this way. The same OB who gave me such loving advice and looked at me through the eyes of a mother was the one who did my c-section.

August 20th, 2019 will forever be one of the most favorite days of my life. This is the day my birth plan panned out more wonderfully than I could have ever dreamed of. I was empowered. I was calm. I was well-rested and I remember each moment of that beautiful morning. Our daughter was born at a snuggly weight of 8 pounds 10 ounces. The OB and our midwives constantly reassured me that our decision was the right one. What a blessing it was to have our midwives, our OB, and doula stand beside us through the birth. What a blessing modern medicine is. What a blessing it is to have options! To this day, I have never looked back wishing I had made a different decision.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

The thing that surprised me the most about my c-section was how calm the procedure was. I went in at 6 a.m. and changed into my gown. The nurses bustled around getting things organized. Two of our midwives came in to see us and we met the team of doctors and nurses who would be with us. After we were all set to go in, the OB and her assistant came to get me. The three of us walked into the operating room, while they rubbed my back and assured me it would all be ok. I was so calm! When I got into the room, one midwife was there ready to receive our daughter. I was nervous about the epidural and told the one nurse. She hugged me tight as the spinal was done and reminded me to breathe. I did not feel a thing! They laid me on the bed as my husband came into the room. Fifteen minutes later, I was kissing my daughter’s face while my husband did skin-to-skin with her!

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

I received endless amounts of support. I was very open with my midwives, doula, OB, husband, friends, and family about my fears. Never once did I feel that I made the wrong decision. I think it’s so important to be open. When you are open with people, they can truly help you.

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

I want other women who have a c-section, whether planned or not, to have this experience. I want them to look at their c-section as a beautiful moment when their baby came into the world. Circumstances around c-sections are all different but at the end of the surgery, when your birth plan has been changed, when the healing has begun, you have your baby safe in your arms. You can look at that baby knowing that you helped make it and grow it. What else matters at that moment? You then get to take your baby home. This baby is yours for the rest of your life. Your baby smiles at you, snuggles deep into your neck, studies your face knowing you are their safe place. What else matters in those moments? Is your baby less yours because of how you gave birth? Does your baby look at you with less love because of how you brought them into this world? When your baby grows up and you tell them, birthday after birthday how you gave birth to them, are they going to judge you and think that you are less of a mom because of a c-section? When you look in the mirror and see your scar, are you going to decide to think of it as a flaw or will you look at it and see how strong you are? You, mama, have choices! Decide to be proud of how much of a super-mommy you are by making the sometimes tough decision to bring your baby into this world safely.

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

I realized that vaginal birth and c-section birth are both births. Whether your c-section is planned or emergency, wanted or not, you still gave birth and that is a miracle.

Name: Julianne Penner

Your Profession: Stay at home mommy and wife!

How to Connect With You on Social Media: @Julianne_Penner on Instagram