C-Section Birth Stories: Lindsey Kallio

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

So we arrived at the hospital at 5:45 on March 12, 2021. For the entire car ride there, my heart was racing while looking down and rubbing my belly, not believing that for the last 9 months I carried and grew life merely on the other side of my tummy. Trying to remain calm, we pulled into the parking lot and I asked Eli to say a quick prayer, for our family and for baby. As we got inside, they checked us all in and we made what seemed to be the longest walk of our lives (escorted by a funny security guard that also didn’t really know where he was going) up to the third floor where all the new little humans are brought into this world. Finally, when we got to our room, we noticed it was rather small and by rather small I mean tiny, smaller than the rooms you usually go to and visit people who are only there for a few days. As soon as we set our bags down, the nurse directed me to get undressed and put my gown on and it started to feel real.

When I finished changing, I got in bed and noticed my body start to shake which seemed like nerves. As the sweating got worse and the room got blurry very fast, I realized it was the fact I hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink for over 12 hours (due to c-section prep). After having a minor meltdown, with my husband sitting next to me thinking I was over exaggerating, the nurse finally stuck me with a needle and started my IV liquids. After that, it was just us hanging out until finally, Dr. Weiss came in (the man that would change our lives forever), shook both of our hands, and mentally prepared us. Trying to be funny but overall concerned, I asked him if he was ready and his response was, “Oh yeah, I got up at a decent time this morning, drank my coffee, got all caffeinated, and watched a couple of YouTube videos so I should be all set.” Eli snd I were pleased with an answer like that; I mean how couldn’t we be? He explained that the surgery would be easy and pretty quick and that she would be out in the first 10 minutes, which was pretty hard to believe. Shortly after, the anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself and explain what would happen to me. At this point, the sound of the spinal and being paralyzed from the waist down seemed pretty scary and somehow I hadn’t put much thought into it until that moment. Waiting for the clock to hit 7:15, I feel like time flew by so fast, and before I knew it a nurse from the OR Staff and the anesthesiologist came in the get me to take me across the hall.

Walking into the room before the actual operating room was so scary, it looked like an episode from Grey’s Anatomy. I told them that and they laughed and said “Yeah pretty much without all the drama.” Not having Eli by my side (since he couldn’t come in until the spinal was over) made me so anxious; I fought so hard to fight back tears and it only got worse when they had me sit on the operating table. Prepping me for the spinal the nice nurse held my hands and positioned me in the hunch back position for the injection and I got pricked with the pre-numbing. which didn’t seem like too bad of a prick at all. He then said that he was about to give the actual spinal injection and that it would feel like fire running on my back and I questioned whether he was telling the truth or not at that moment but I was so overwhelmed I started to cry and held on to the nurses hands tighter. He counted down and as soon as he put it in my spine, it felt like a straight burning sensation just like he described and I let out a grunt trying to keep my breaths long and cool. The nurse assured me I was doing great. Seconds after the needle was out of my back they explained what I was about to feel and they were right because seconds later, a tingling sensation (almost like numbing after the dentist) went running down my legs and they quickly laid me down before I lost complete feeling of them and my stomach. Let me tell you - until you’ve experienced something like not being able to feel your legs it’s pretty freaky knowing you have zero control. As I felt more and more numb, they set up the sheet that draped over me so I didn’t see anything going on and got my wrist restraints ready. I asked Dr. Weiss if I could take them off and he said yes; thank goodness because I would’ve had claustrophobia for sure.

All of a sudden in the midst of the commotion, I felt rather sick and asked if it was normal to feel nauseous. Just as they were saying yes I was already vomitting, tilting my head to the side with a cold metal bowl pressed to the side of my face. The weirdest part was not feeling it travel up from my stomach since I was numb and only giving them a 10-second notice. Feeling nauseous and throwing up was awful. I also kept saying sorry after everything they asked me or told me to do and the nurses finally laughed and said, “You don’t have to say sorry after everything; you’re okay, everything’s okay!” At this point, I finally asked where Eli was and the nurse directed someone else to go get him. Seeing him was so funny walking through the doors because he was dressed in a head-to-toe gown, almost reminding me of a hazmat suit. At this point, I had oxygen tubes in my nose since I was having trouble breathing from vomiting and Eli was already crying pretty hard I think since I looked so scary. Asking me if I was okay, I replied with “Yeah I’m okay, I threw up a lot.” He laughed and told me that’s what the nurse had told him and that he was sorry but soon we would meet our baby girl. From that point, time seemed to slow down but also speed up, if that makes sense.

Before starting the surgery, Dr. Weiss stated his name, my name, and everyone else’s name and duty, which was funny to me. He proceeded with the pinch test which is where he literally grabbed my stomach skin with tweezers making sure I felt no pain. After going through all the bases they finally started and let me know that I would feel LOTS of pressure but no pain. Feeling lots of pressure seemed like an understatement at this point because during parts of the surgery I could literally feel them move around organs and shift things inside of me. I don’t remember talking to Eli much; I know I did but I don’t remember what I said except for asking multiple times how everything was going and how much longer. Finally, the doctor replied with T-2 minutes until she’s out and then with them saying “Okay this is going to be the part with the MOST pressure", and it felt like them pulling an elephant off my chest. I could feel her slowly slide out from beneath my ribs which was crazy, to say the least. “It’s definitely a girl", one nurse announced. Her not crying at first made me really scared but they quickly showed her to me from afar and then rushed her to the room next door. Originally wanting Eli to stay with me, I told him he should go be with her and he agreed. At this point, the hard part was over and I was kind of out of it, so I was fine being by myself with the people I now trusted. “Is she healthy, is she okay?” was what I was constantly asking. It’s so weird the things you remember specifically in traumatic moments because I literally remember staring at the tiles on the ceiling thinking of how relaxing it was to just count them and how perfectly symmetrical it all seemed to me. That seemed like the longest part for me because my husband and daughter were in the room next door for about 10 minutes I think, without me knowing what was going on or seeing them.

Finally, I asked a nurse to check on her so she rushed the pediatrician along so he could come back with me and her. Then the pediatrician came to the doors and told me that little Luna was healthy but would have to come in 6 weeks to check her hips since it was something they did for all breech babies. Maybe she could have left that part out and told me later and just told me she was fine and healthy because that concerned me hearing at that moment. Then finally, with foggy tear-filled glasses, Eli walked through the sliding glass doors with a little nugget wrapped in a blanket. “Was she really mine, did this really happen?” I thought, as my mind was racing to say the least. “She’s perfect” he muffled, trying not to break down. “She’s okay, she's healthy, nothing’s wrong?” I asked as he set her near my chest. This was when the waterworks really rushed in and at this point, Eli and I were both sobbing. I didn’t realize I would have such an instant connection to someone I had just met. But there she was, a little perfect chubby-cheeked nugget with a little scratch around the corner of her nose, weighing 7 pounds exactly. Thankfully, in all of this, the anesthesiologist remembered to take photos and asked for our phone to capture some good ones of us as a family. I just couldn’t stop staring at her taking her. I wanted to hold her and couldn’t yet but I knew that at least she was in my husband’s arms. It’s funny, I didn’t even remember that in all of this they were still inside me still working away, taking the placenta out and everything and Eli happened to look and said it was crazy. I do remember them suctioning out all the blood because it reminded me of dental assisting and how it was the same exact sound. Finally, Eli had to go back to the room with Luna, and they were practically done with me in the OR. Dr. Weiss stood back and with one grab (like in the movies) he took off his entire gown and shoe coverings. He gazed at me and I gazed at him and he told me I did a great job and thanked everyone for all the hard work.

They transferred me back into my hospital bed and when they tilted me off of the OR table, I really felt like I was going to fall straight on the floor which I’m thankful I didn’t. While being wheeled back, I don’t actually remember anything until getting in the room and seeing Eli and our beautiful angel waiting for me. All wrapped up in a ball, he brought her to me, and again the sobbing returned. The rest is honestly a blur. I just remember asking again if she was okay and healthy and taking in how amazing of a miracle was just performed. For 9 months, I had carried a baby that I hadn’t mentally prepared for in my belly and now I was holding what was half of me and half of my best friend.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

How much they aren’t talked about.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

I feel like I got more empathy rather than physical support if that makes sense.

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

Give your body time to heal, your body is such an amazing thing and you just went through major surgery. Also, don’t let anyone make you feel like you are less of a mother for having a c-section birth rather than vaginal birth.

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

It made me realize what my body can really do and how empowering of an experience it truly was.

Name: Lindsey Kallio, Stay-at-home mom

Country of Residence: United States

Instagram Username: @lindsey_kallioo